slimetony:

slimetony:

my inbox is mostly just people trying to out funny me which is why i hardly check it

And yet they still fail

(Source: slimetony, via timurmurtazin)

SCP-092-B’s interrogation excerpts were the single time AWCY ever seemed threatening to me, but now reading back on it…

At this point, SCP-092-B seized his own head with both hands and ripped it off his neck, killing himself instantly.

I can’t take that sentence seriously anymore. Not with the combination of those last three words - _-

Don’t let society tell you that you need to have thousands of writhing tentacles to be an eldritch abomination

(Source: unknought, via timurmurtazin)

extradan:

i have been drawing face cheeks before calarts EVEN EXISTED

BEFORE CALARTS WAS FORMED

BECAUSE ANYONE GRADUATED FROM CALARTS

BEFORE CALARTS WERE GIVEN ITS NAME

IM THE ORIGINAL

You’ve also been Chad Kroeger before Nickleback even existed.

You are the revolver dirt boner, be happy.

(via not-the-conversation-starter)

institute-for-thermal-research:

fletty:

institute-for-thermal-research:

A robot bit with a FAT ass

Fuck You and Fuck this

(via that-goddamn-owl)

timurmurtazin:

silver-tongues-blog:

matlsse:

istanbl:

crimelords:

pine-needles-underfoot:

writing-prompt-s:

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

I walk in the forest 🌳

I rob a bank! kill a lawman! my gal is my getaway driver! we drink bootleg gin and listen to josephine baker

I’m a city. just like… the whole city.

i own! and curate! a museum with every! matisse! piece! ever!

I become a politician

I’m…..me. Either that or a mongol conqueror. Not good options here goddamn it.

This game sucks I want my money back

(via timurmurtazin)