larviform-deactivated20210327:

(via takamoris)

unclefather:

(via pseudonymouslps)

promptdumpster:

Reader: “Oh my God! I can’t wait to see what happens next!”

Me, the author, who has been winging this plot since chapter one:

(via sakimcgee)

uss-edsall:

bluemonkeydevil:

uss-edsall:

uss-edsall:

When you’re an archaeologist with a set schedule, sometimes people really get to understand who you are

When I dug in France I always got a croissant at 0520 from the same exact place in Échemines. A week in, they had one lying on the counter for me by the time I walked in. By the second week I got the exact amount I’d pay in hand when I walked in, because they’d reliably have it ready. I made sure to tell the owners that I wasn’t returning on my last day of the dig.

I may mention that every time I ordered in French. On my last day the owners gave me hugs and kindly told me to never speak in French again

They had your order ready so they wouldn’t have to hear you speak French 🤣

OH, MOTHERFUCKER

(via micchy-did-nothing-wrong)

careful-crow:

thewitchway:

nakedinasnowsuit:

santmagdalene:

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

(via jinglejangleurshitupbro)